Quit

 “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

Walt Disney

I’m all for being Mr. Motivation and pushing people to achieve their goals. That’s exactly why I’m telling you to quit.

Quit your excuses.

Quit spending the entire evening on your couch.

Quit putting off getting that lift session or run in.

Quit being too lazy to prepare your food for the week, and on that note, quit going out to eat and ordering things that you know are bad for you.

Just quit.

At graduation, I finally hit the breaking point. I was guilty of all of the above. My bad decisions led to bad habits. My bad habits led me down a path that ended with me being fat, unconfident, and most importantly – unhappy. And then I quit. I stopped being the prisoner of my own bad choices. I had the strength, and more importantly - the fire, to stop being who I was in order to improve myself and make me into the person I am today.

There’s this big misconception that quitting – at least in the training world – is a bad thing. What if the thing you’re quitting is the thing that’s holding you back? Bad habits, rationalizations, limiting yourself. This is when it becomes a good thing, when you take steps closer to your goals. Stop saying “I need to get to the gym,” “I should have chicken and veggies for lunch,” “I’ll start tomorrow.” These are all passive statements. Start saying these: "am going," "will," "now." Active. Decisive. Powerful.

Not happy with where you are physically? Stop your bitching. You're the only one who can make this change for yourself, not the trainer, not the nutritionist, not Dr. Oz. You.

Just quit and do it.

Perfection

Fourteen miles is a lot of time to think about things: how much this Pandora station is absolutely killing it today, what bills I need to pay, if the zombie apocalypse is here (mental note: avoid all bath salts, sorry Bed, Bath and Beyond), what my friends in Richmond and Pennsylvania are up to and if they're somehow managing without me (I kid, I kid), and you get some realizations as well. Then it hit me:

I may be a lot of things, perfect is not one of them (not that I thought that I was before, mind you).

Good news: no one is.

I may be a little too nerdy, a little too socially awkward. I might enjoy a pizza to myself on a more than regular occasion and be completely lost in any political discussion that doesn't involve "Game of Thrones." My xbox might see me a little too much, and my couch even more.  (I might use parenthesis more than I should) and I might not have a 6-pack and a 30" waist. I might be too trusting...okay, gullible...a little too optimistic, and even a little too smiley (trust me, at VMI, you can be too smiley). My dream for my future might be a little too white-picket-fency, complete with a husband, 3 kids and a dog - black lab, rescue of course. On that note: I might be a little too cheesy.

But you know what? I'm happy.

I've been working to a better body - to cut fat or gain muscle, to be able to run further and faster, to lift heavier and be a better athlete - for the past 8 years. I might have slipped and fallen, but I dusted myself off and kept on going, and on my run today - it hit me - I'm happy with myself. Eight years - 80lbs lost, and every time I looked in the mirror, I always saw imperfection and strove to "fix" it. As I hit mile 13 fifteen minutes ahead of when I finished at 13 two weeks ago, it really hit me: it's not the strive to obtaining perfection and getting it that will make me happy, it's the drive to be a better person, whether athletically, intellectually, or even nerdily (I also may make up too many words) - to help others in my community, no matter how small or large the task might seem -  that has and will make me happy.

There's a certain weight (*nudge nudge* get it? it's a fitness blog! See cheesy comment above, repeat cheesy comment above) that's lifted off your shoulders when you make this realization. A certain freedom that comes with it, to know that you're no longer doing this because of social pressure or to fit in, but to truly do it for yourself that's, well, freeing. My question to you is: are you doing what you're doing because it's what's expected of you - from your friends, from your family, from your community or religion - because of some media driven standard that is set - or are you doing it truly because it's what makes you happy? Take a little bit of time on your commute to work, while you're biking or pavement pounding, just when you can let your mind wander (ok, meetings at work - probably not the best place) and ask yourself that and really think about it.

Now if y'all will excuse me, my couch and my xbox are calling. Told ya I was nerdy.

Rabbits

There is a fable about a hungry wolf. He saw two rabbits just hanging out, doing what rabbits do, and off he went, trying to catch his lunch. Instead of chasing after just one, he tried to get both. The poor guy was hungry, and he ended up losing them.

Now, I’m sure the details vary: it could have been a hunter and not a wolf, it could have been dinner, not lunch. Whatever the case, the point stays the same: chase after two rabbits, you’ll catch neither.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying people can’t multitask – I’m  a master when it comes to gchat and facebooking simultaneously – but when it comes to things that require a dedicated focus, it’s all too easy to spread ourselves thin.  Great, now I want peanut butter. Damn you, beach season!

This is why I have a dedicated time of year for each of my physical goals:

Jan – Feb: Maintain
March – May: Cut down
Jun – Oct: Maintain (or continue to cut if need be)
Nov – Dec: Bulk

My main challenge is cutting down. Your body wants to stay in homeostatis – the stable state that it’s accustomed to. Having spent the majority of my life overweight, that’s the stable state that my body wants to stay in (ug). I need to be more strict than most when it comes to achieving lower body fat percentage, whereas, to some, this comes naturally and they have to try harder to put on mass…bitches.

Now, I’m by no means a hardgainer. I put on mass fairly easily, hence only having two months being dedicated to gaining. Only real challenge for me for my bulk phase is eating clean enough that the mass I put on is muscle. This past year, I put on 20lbs in a two month span – from 180 to 200, a solid 15lbs of that was muscle (which is a pretty good gain ratio).

When it comes to transformations, I have learned it is easier to chase one rabbit than two. Cut, bulk, or maintain.  It’s incredibly difficult to cut fat and gain mass as the same time. Again, not saying it can’t be done, but from my own experience, it’s easier to have one set goal and pursue that. In order to cut, you have to eat below maintenance (see The Basics), and to gain, you need to eat above – and the optimal training for each is extremely different from one another. It is possible, during maintenance periods, to have a general “recompositioning” and shift your bf% and maintain the same weight (like I said in Numbers). For me, though, I like having one set goal and pursuing that to completion.

One focus, one drive, one rabbit.

Strength

My nephew's 8th birthday is right around the corner. 

This little boy- who loves tennis and knows more about cars than I ever will - is the strongest person I know.

...and he could have died.

On September 30, 2007, Field was diagnosed with ALL Pre-B Cell Leukemia. He was three and was facing the biggest fight of his life, and I never felt more weak and helpless in mine. Four years of chemo. Four years of hospital visits. Four years of being a spectator to a fight that I could do nothing, physically, to help. Not once during the entire time did he ever lose his light. Often times, I found that it wasn't the doctors' assurances that everything that was going to be fine, it was seeing him run around and just be a normal, energetic boy that could (and probably still can) kick my ass in Wii tennis.

On January 8, 2011, Field was officially in remission. He won. He was stronger than cancer.

A few weeks ago, my sister had asked me to write something from an uncle's point of view for the launch of her site Live in Love & Hope (which will be launching soon), I told her that I couldn't. Expressing anything other than shiny, happy feelings is incredibly difficult for me, so this would be a challenge for me to say the least. After giving it a lot of thought, I realized how pivotal his fight was to my own desire to become stronger.

Feeling powerless in a situation is one of my largest pet peeves. If I can't positively affect a situation, I get extremely frustrated. In being there and helping out when I could, I played my part, but I still felt helpless. My first instinct, to become stronger - physically - so I could be the rock, so to speak, for my family. Having more of a physical presence during a rough time is incredibly important to me. It's comforting to physically have someone there. So I lifted hard and strove to improve my presence. To be there. To be strong.

Field has been cancer free for almost a year and a half and his light is brighter than ever. He's still a beacon of strength, determination, and inspiration for me. 

and he can still kick my ass in Wii tennis.

Numbers

You know that hottie's number you got on Saturday night? Yeah, that's an example of a good number.


Waiting those 3 days to get in touch with him/her? First off that whole 3-day rule is bullshit, and also an example of a bad number.


As an engineer, my world revolves around numbers. The good, the bad, the real, the imaginary - yes, liberal arts majors, there are such things as imaginary numbers - √(-1). As with the rest of my world, body transformation and physical training is number-centric. There are good numbers to keep track of and bad numbers. From what I've noticed, most people get wrapped up in the bad ones because they are the most basic ones to follow.


Weight:

Bad number –

Scale weight. I’ll admit, when I first started, I was completely wrapped up with the weight on the scale. The more I learned, the less I tracked it. The only real time I do is during my annual bulk cycle. As I approach my goal for the summer, I check it less and less. Wait, what? Yup. Scale weight isn’t what you should be following, there are way too many factors to bring into the equation in order to get a consistant reading: what you had to eat before, how much water you’ve had prior, hell – even if you’ve gone to the bathroom right before stepping on there. It’s too reliant on too many variables.

Good numbers  -

Body Fat % - When it comes to weight, this is what most people should be tracking. “Oh, I just want to lose 5lbs.” If that 5lbs is muscle, then you actually end up with a higher body fat % than when you started. Now, not all of us have access to a Hydrodensitometry Weighing tank (uses water displacement) – which is one of the most accurate methods. For us normal people, Calipers work well as long as you have someone who has been trained to use them. Now, I don’t have my own personal trainer to take these measurements for me (I’m a cheap bastard), so I primarily use a body measurement tape (or tailor’s cloth tape) and take readings from different parts and then plug them into the body fat calculator at http://www.fittogether.net. This, obviously, is prone to some error because you might not get the exact same place every time, but it’s still good just for general tracking.

Calories:

Bad number –

Lump sum for the day. As I discussed in The Basics, your body needs a certain amount of calories per day to not kick into starvation mode (which is NOT a good thing – the first thing your body will do is break down muscle for energy, not fat). For me to cut up for summer, I need to eat between 2,000-2,500 calories a day – which after my 3,500-4,000/day I needed after my bulk cycle, is kinda hard. Now your normal large thin crust pizza has about 2,000 calories in it. Can I just eat one of those a day and still cut fat? Hell no. Plus, I’d break out from all the grease. Not sexy. The quality of the calories matters too. “Clean” foods – baked chicken and fish, steamed veggies, fresh fruits (only right before and after lifting)…these are the sources that you should be relying on.  It really all comes down to…

Good number –

Macronutrients. This is the percent breakdown of protein, carbs, and (healthy) fats that your calories come from. The general rule of thumbs for each are:

Protein: 1 to 1.5 times your body weight in grams (1.5-2x if you’re bulking). I’m 185, I should get between 185-280g/day.
Protein is 4 cals/g, so I should be getting 740-1120 cals/day from protein.

Fats: 0.5 time your body weight in grams. I should be getting ~90-100g a day.
Fats are 10 cals/g, so 900-1000 cals/day from them.

Those two, you do not touch during a cut phase. If you’re cutting, you adjust the carbs – but do NOT cut them out completely. Your body needs them for basic brain and physiological functions.

Carbs: So since I need 2000-2500 (for this exercise, we’re going to go with 2500) cals a day to cut fat healthily, and, on average, 930 cals from protein and 950 from fats, that leaves 620 cals for carbs which, at 4 cals/g, works out to ~155g of carbs, less if I go for the 2000cals/day.

So instead of being wrapped up in the “OMG! I can’t believe I weighed 182 today, I was 178 yesterday!” mentality and then eat nothing but celery for a day to get back to 178, take a step back, breathe, and do the math…

and make sure to hit the head before you do actually weigh yourself.

Energy

"Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, just transferred"
First Law of Thermodynamics

The human body is a prime example of all things physics. I could get into the whole "a calorie is the amount of energy to raise 1g of water 1 degree Celsius" and how a "food calorie" is actually 1,000 thermal calories, but I'm pretty sure that'd put you to sleep. I'll leave that job to the sheep and melatonin.

This is going to be more about drawing energy from non-tangible things in life and turning them into something positive. Everyone has a bad day at work, gets a parking ticket (I may or may not have included a line item in my monthly budget for these thanks to the fine, thorough parking enforcement officers of DC), an unexpected breakup...life happens. Think about it, that frustration, anger, sadness...it's all a form of energy. Well, more appropriately, it's how you're deciding to utilize the energy that you have.

I tend to over analyze situations. What can I say? I'm an engineer (as if the Thermo lesson earlier didn't give that away), analyzing is what I do. While I still do it from time to time, I've also gotten better about realizing what is within my sphere of control to change and what isn't. This doesn't mean that I'm over the situation, though. Emotions still linger, but instead of getting mad at getting the ticket, use the energy you'd spend being pissed on something productive. 9 times out of 10, I usually hit the gym if I'm mad or frustrated over something. 1 time out of 1000, I *might* clean...I either need to get pissed off more or hire a maid because my place is a mess. I choose to transfer the bad energy into something positive.

One thing I've noticed is that I always lift heavier, run faster, or play harder in the (extremely off) chance I'm not in a good mood. It gives me a focused outlet for those emotions. Not saying I'm looking to not be my normal happy-all-the-time self, but that I take that negative energy and put it towards accomplishing my goals - enter the eternally angry "Moto Lift Mix" on my iPhone - which provides me with that added push that being angry usually does. As the wise sage, Elle Woods once said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."

Three birds, one stone. You get a great workout in, your body releases chemicals to put you in a better mood, AND you don't shoot your husband. Everyone wins.

Long story short, you can choose to let the bad things that happen in life affect you or you can choose to transfer that energy into making them get you closer to your goals.

It's your call.

Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

Proverbs 27:17

15th and Constitution NW, I'm waiting for the crosswalk light to turn. 4.5 miles in on my run, at least another two to go. There's a steady 80 foot climb over 3/4 of a mile coming up and honestly, I was running low on gas.

Headphones in, I try to pump myself up before the light changes.

A girl in running gear jogs up beside me. There are no words, just a nod.

The light changes, we both start running, keeping pace with one another. She speeds up her pace a little, I match it. I speed up, she matches. We fed off each other's energy for a solid half mile.

Another stop light, another stop. She nudged my elbow with hers. No words, just a nod and we parted ways.

The experience gave me the energy and motivation I needed to finish the run strong. I made the hill by the Capitol building mine.

During the time I've been training, a partner has always presented him or herself at the time when I needed them the most. Some last years, others - a half mile. In every instance, I come out stronger, more knowledgeable and more driven than I was before I met them. My first training partner was Scott, a personal trainer at the gym where I was working out. He taught me the basics of lifting. After him, it was a solid three years before I met Bill, a power lifter I trained with when I was in Pennsylvania for a year for work. He pushed me to push myself through the walls and limitations that I had set for myself. Then on Friday, the half mile girl. The common theme among them all - we pushed each other to improve. We sharpened one another.

Everyone hits a point in their training where they stagnate, where they lose motivation to push their hardest, where their efforts aren't as focused and sharp as they should be to achieve their goals. When that time hits, recognize it as the time to pick up a lifting partner, a running buddy, or even hire a trainer. Someone who is better at what you're trying to do. Not only will you push one another, you will learn a lot in the process, too. You will sharpen one another.

How sharp can you be?