Mythology

Anyone who knows me is fully aware of my love for mythology.  Greek, Roman, Norse – you name it, I probably know a tad too much about it (side note: probably best to not watch a movie based on one with me, though, unless you want a dissertation on how which parts were accurate and which ones weren’t at the end of it). Seemingly impossible tasks done by mere men and women all for the sake of love, honor, and loyalty never fail to inspire and teach me lessons. Hell, even Zeus taught me a valuable life lesson: there’s less drama if you just keep it in your pants. Or toga.

There are some myths, though, that are based purely off of misconceptions and rely on lack of knowledge to propagate.  It’s so much easier to believe the public thought on things than to actually change up your routine to get the effects that you’re looking for. Men and women both are susceptible to this, though this one is mainly for the ladies.

Myth #1: “If I lift, I’ll get bulky.”  Yes, because simply lifting some weights made Arnold the Terminator. This is the one that urks off the most.

Friend: “I just want to tone up”
me:  “Are you lifting or doing any kind of resistance training at all?”
friend: “No, I don’t want to get bulky”
me: *eye roll* “You won’t. Not unless you eat a surplus amount of calories for your body to turn into muscle. Lifting will help lean you out and preserve the muscle mass that you do have. Also: the more lean mass you have, the more calories your body burns consistently through the day, cardio only really burns ‘em when you’re doing it.”
Friend: *blank stare* “Um, ok. I’m going to hop on the elliptical”
Me: *facepalm*

Moral of the story: I beg you, please start lifting, even if it’s just whole body lifts 3x a week. Added benefit, you’ll become stronger (which IS possible without adding “bulk”) and will be able to open that jar of peanut butter all by your independent woman self. Do it for feminism.

Myth #2: I can spot reduce!

Where you put on and lose fat is based on your genetics. Can’t get rid of that stubborn little bit of lower abdomen fat? While technically, you can blame your parents,  that’s way too passive for my liking. Step up the training and zone in on your nutrition: just because you have saggy underarms doesn’t mean you can’t work on the muscles beneath it to have them help support them. For me – and the vast majority of people, the last place for me to lose fat is the first place I put it on. The mid-section. Work hard, buckle down and don’t give up hope, it’ll go away eventually.

Myth #3: These shoes/shorts/piece of clothing will tone my butt/reduce cellulite/<insert desired effect here>.

There’s a reason why those ass-shaper shoes can’t make that claim anymore. It’s bullshit. People might have seen some results because they figured walking around in them more would lead to more results. Wait, walking around more causes you to burn more calories? NO WAY (yes, I’m being sarcastic. Shocker). Honestly, the company that started those must’ve been geniuses. Marketing scientific fact as some novel idea and direct result of their product? Smart.

Now seriously, ladies (and gents too if you decided to read through this anyway), educate yourself. The biggest take away from my point of view is to start lifting if you haven’t already. Resistance training has a lot of really awesome health benefits. You’ll maintain your muscle mass (and build some too, if that’s your goal and eat enough to support that), burn more calories throughout the day and just overall be firmer. This might seem contradictory to what I’ve said before about nutrition being 80% of the whole process…I still stand by that, too, but lifting helps move things along.

Myths. Busted. Hmmmm, maybe I should get a show on the Discovery Channel about doing that and run some awesome experiments! Dammit! It’s already been done. Foiled again.

Zucchini and Squash Pasta

I love me some pasta. I could never have a "Lady and the Tramp" moment because, well, anyone who tries to split a meal with me would come back one fork holding hand less from the attempt.

Our bodies really aren't built to process refined carbs well. So with that in mind, I try to avoid them, with the exception of the day before long run days. Usually I use spaghetti squash as a good replacement, and it's pretty tasty. Sadly, the local Teeter was out of 'em when I went to pick one up. Looking around, I decided to be a little resourceful. Zucchini and squash were right there. Worth a shot.

Difficulty: 2/5 - there is a little multitasking

Prep time: 5 minutes (depends on how fine of a "noodle" you want)

Ingredients:

- One zucchini

- One squash (or two if you choose to not use zucchini - I like the added color)

- One can of diced tomatoes - check the label to make sure no sugar (or form thereof) is on the ingredient list. IF you use regular pasta sauce, check the label for the same thing, you'd be surprised what they put in there to thicken it up.

- 99% ground turkey or a can of 98% lean white meat chicken (if you're lazy)

- Spices you'd normally put on your pasta - watch the parmesan cheese!

Steps:

1.   Slice the zucchini and squash length wise - about 1/4" wide, slice them length wise again to make the "noodles."

2.   Put them in a pan, put it on medium heat, let them tender up. Use a little bit of EVOO if you wish, but again, watch the serving size.

3.   Drain the tomatoes and canned chicken (if that's the route you chose to go) and put them in another pan to simmer. Brown the ground turkey if you got that (my norm, just works a little bit better).

4.   Mix in the spices while the sauce simmers.

5.   Once the noodles are nice and tender, drain em off.

6.   Plate it, sauce it, and you're done

One zucchini and one squash yields one big boy meal (shown above) or two smaller meals.

Enjoy!